I started the stillman plan today - no cream with my coffee ;(.

I'll have updated progress pictures from this week later on (tomorrow?)

I am taking progress pictures (starting at the beginning of this month) every week on Wednesday. The first two are a little further apart, but what are you gonna do?

I'm trying to lose weight through diet and exercise (duh!) but have not been focusing too hard on the LC part of my eating, which needs to change. I have made a few discoveries regarding which foods work well for me (and which don't).( Read more... )

Still hacing issues with the no eating after bed thing. But I did really well with the LC foods yeaterday. Today: No eating after sleep, breakfast is okay, water, Fitday, and strength workout!!!

With the eating yesterday. Today I will focus on LC foods, and NO eating after bed. I can do this!!!

I'm pretty much there, unfortunately. But what can I say. I'm still "with" GWH - meaning waiting on him to come around. Jesus Christ, how many months am I going to put myself through this? Ridiculous...

I've been doing really well with my exercise, and okay with my eating for the past week. But I've not been at all consistent over the past few months. Oh, no...too much alcohol and crap food. My meds DO NOT work with the liquor tho, so I'm not drinking, as of last week. Last think I had was last Friday, so I'm doing pretty well. Considering the fact that I was getting drunk pretty much every night there for a few weeks. And cutting. ::sigh::

Anyways, we know the drill. Goals to meet:

1. Aerobic workout 5-6 times per week.
2. Strength 2-3 times per week.
3. Stillmans eating.
4. 1.5 litres of water per day!!!
5. No eating after bedtime.

Went running. That's two times today. Good job. So far have eaten same PB @ 5 AM and salmon at 4 PM. Looking at a shake for dinner before bed.

I talked to GWH after the first convo to tell him that I wasn't trying to lock him in or pin him down, but that I wasn't looking to see anyone else. Don't know if it was for the best, but *shrug* He's a big boy and should be able to handle the situation. What are you gonna do.

He keeps asking me if he's "in trouble". WTF? Bonnie says that he realized he liked me more than he thought and is scared now that I pulled away. I had to, 'cause what else was I s'posed to think after he told me that he's not looking for a long-term relationship. I wasn't asking him to marry me, just not sleep with or kiss other girls without telling me. He does that, and I'm outta there. I'm not down with the casual relationships and multiple partners. Guys suck sometimes...

I have to watch House tonight so that me and BA will have a convo point tomorrow. He's so funny like that.

Thinking about going running again, too, to burn some extra cals and restoke the fire. I ate a lot last night, and I'm feeling it today. I'm going to stick with Stillmans, no eating after bedtime, and exercise. And less drinking. That's not really working ou tfo rthe best, as I always eat like a cow the next day, no matter how hard I try. Blech.

Need to figure out a new play list for when I'm out. The Elliott Smith I'm listening to in my off time just doesn't cut it - he's awesome, but it's a bit too slow-paced for the run. Some are okay, but they're better yog/chill songs.

Just called. I really like him. he likes me too, but is not "emotionally available". He sends so many conflicting signals, tho, that I'm just not sure what to think. Right now he's hypersensitive to thinking that I am calling him an asshole, which I am absolutely not. I just cannot understand why he is acting so weirded out by everything. Just because I asked him if he has any other "girlfriends". He said "I don't have ANY girlfirends." WTF am I, then? Whatever.

I have to get some anti-depression meds today, and I really do not want to go. Maybe I'll take MAX after (or b4) my shrink appt. Then I could go to the Freddies on Interstate. We'll see, I s'pose. I just do not feel like driving, and it's rainign so I do not really want to ride my bike. Yuck. Hopefully billy will call later today - we'll see. God - I told him I wanted to talk in person and he said, "Am I in trouble?" For what?!? He's really worried that I hate him or something...

I noticed that that is the start to way too many journal headings. *Shrug* What are you gonna do, I guess. I haven't updated in a while because of some massive depression and anxiety issues. I'm having trouble leaving the house on my days off of work. I really need to start focusing on myself and doing things that make me happy so that I can try to pull myself ou tof this saddness.

My eating is definitely affecting my mood. I'm going back to Stillman's. That is the only way I lose weight quickly and am not hungry. I am going to keep the shakes for now, but will cut them out if I feel like they are contributing to blood-sugar swings. I am also focusing on not eating after bedtime. I'm pretty sure that means a snack before bed, so that I'm not starving at 2 AM. But no more that 400 calories at any sitting.

Exercise. I need to do it. I haven's worled out *really* since I got back from AK. That was a pretty shitty trip. Yuck.

JB Came back. But he didn't call...oh no. No guy could ever be that right. Why should he be different? I have to see him tomorrow at work. I should just get really drunk tonight and go in so hung over I can't see straight. Or I could just call in sick...

Measurements

Original (9/13)

Bust (after exhaling): 37.25
Ribcage under breasts: 34
Smallest part of my waist: 30.5
Hips (around tan line): 37
Left thigh (upper): 23
Left calf (Under 3 freckles): 15

New (9/21):

Bust (after exhaling): 36.75
Ribcage under breasts: 32.5
Smallest part of my waist: 30
Hips (around tan line): 37
Left thigh (upper): 22.5
Left calf (Under 3 freckles): 14.75

Losses:

Bust: -0.5
Ribcage under breasts: -1.25
Smallest part of my waist: -0.5
Hips (around tan line): 0.00
Left thigh (upper): -0.5
Left calf (Under 3 freckles): -.25

Total inches lost: 3

*Shrug* Not bad, I s'pose...

Measuring day! Stay tuned for the results...

Overate yesterday. Yuck. Actually, binged last night. Out of sadness, to fill a void. But I stuck to semi-legal foods, no peanut or almond butter. That's a huge step, so I'm happy with that. Today is gonna be a low-volume food day.

Also, don't think I'm going to be having FF cream cheese anymore. It just doesn't do it for me since I found the LC wedge cheese. Just empty calories. *Sigh* At least I have work today - keeps me occupied for the whole day. And I'm gonna go tanning before and ride my bike in. Maybe running after? We'll see...

Yesterday kinda sucked - I was craving massive binge foods. Yuck. I ate a lot of SF Jello, which I kinda want to cut back on. That's going to be my goal for the week. Still sticking with Stillmans, but reduce the SF Jello. And stick with the egg whites only, no yolks.

Gonna go tanning today and then to a BBQ tonight. I think I had some tainted chicken breast (skewers tasted a little sweet) so no food there. I only ate one piece of chicken on the skewer, tho, and three pieces of celery. That was exciting!

Ran in the AM, hung out all day, pretty lazy. Calories low, not too hungry. The third day is always the hardest, so I'm through that. Yeah!